Today is the Day!
Last year I was a different person - or to be kind, a person in crisis.
Last year I went into freeze.
I had a complete nervous breakdown.
I spent almost two months away from my family to heal.
I had lost confidence - to be honest, I don't think I ever had confidence in myself.
Many of my actions were based on 'feel the fear and do it anyway', over and over again, but still with this undercurrent of worthlessness, self-doubt, self-loathing and toxic perfectionism.
I pushed myself to my limit and beyond, berating my mind and my body until it all shut down.
This was the woman who was teaching Belonging.
Who was exploring Belonging vs Fitting In.
Who was claiming to be a change-maker, and thinking she was doing good work.
Intellectually, it all made sense. She could say the right things, make the right actions, and truly believe that those were what made Belonging.
And all the while, self-hating like there was no tomorrow.
I've done a lot of work since then. Made progress, had realisations, diagnoses, begun on the path of radical self love.
I've slowed down, I've let go. I've even done a complete U-turn on the type of work I want to do (more of that coming soon!
I'm not now a different person. I am myself again.
I feel I now have a better idea of what Belonging actually is.
Love. It's Love.
Did I have it when recording these episodes?
Nope!
But you can hear me grasping for it.
My guests and I are vulnerable. We are raw. We talk about experiences that are everyday but so often silenced.
And I truly believe that the more we talk, the more we share, the more we heal.
Join us, for Season 2, of Beyond The Chameleon.
Subscribe today to hear it tomorrow.
SPECIAL OFFER
To celebrate the launch of Beyond The Chameleon Season 2, I'm offering
£50 off my Special Edition Signed Collection of Music Scores
Professionally proofed, printed and bound, and each one lovingly signed by me, with a name of your choosing.
Perfect for performers, collectors, libraries and music organisations
Use the code BTCSEASON2 at checkout
Offer ends Sunday 30th January