Pick a cycle, any cycle
My 7-year old son ground up some charcoal from the BBQ, mixed it with water and made his own ink. This is his painting, which takes my breath away.
“For this is life, this is joy and despite it all, this is what we live for.”
Living cyclically has revolutionised my composing.
I used to have 'flash in the pan' creative moments - they happened quickly, intensely and usually to a deadline.
The run up to the actual writing was filled with angst, procrastination, fear of failing. And if I'm brutally honest with myself, the resulting music was often soulless and not what I wanted to write.
It got to the point where I stopped writing for joy. The only music I made was to a deadline. I still called myself a composer, but the amount of composing I actually did was minimal.
Even when I began building up my career in earnest, three years ago, I wasn't composing that much. The thought of it made me physically panic.
A few years ago, after a significant nervous breakdown, I reached out to Emily Hoyle at Nourish Yoga (effing superstar!) who taught me how to think cyclically.
I realised that I'd lost a sense of trust in my creativity.
When I got stuck, I didn't trust that I would find a way through. I didn't trust in my rest. I didn't trust in my non-composing moments.
I had an inkling, but I never let it grow to more.
So when it was time to write, I used the threat of failure to move my music forwards, rather than allow the trust in my own capabilities to enable a flow.
When we live in cycles, we learn that what ebbs will flow again.
The tide goes in and out.
Summer turns to winter, to summer.
An egg grows, a lining is shed, an egg grows again.
The moon waxes to full and then wanes to new.
When we lean into what we know will return, we can engage with feelings of 'stuckness' in our creativity without fear that we will never create again.
So to start with, pick a cycle, any cycle.
I personally follow my menstrual cycle, but you can choose the lunar cycle, seasonal cycles, annual cycle, daily cycle, etc. Whatever feels right for you.
The first step is to just notice it. Trust in it. How do you feel in different stages and does that relate to your creativity?
You can write things down or just feel it - don't push this, it's something that will make more sense over time.
But lean into the trust that what once was will be again.
Work with me to unblock your artistic creativity.
In order to be more accessible I've moved back to single session or block-booking structures.
First 3 sessions are pay-what-you-can (£50 per hour minimum) and £80 thereafter
Up to 3x a month
This info isn't set up on my website yet, so contact me for more details